so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
