The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
