my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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