I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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