on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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