so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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