Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm passing your future prison.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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