Your dad touched me again.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
