I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
