"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
