Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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