I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
