i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
