legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
