YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
