i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
