Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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