He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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