There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
