tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
