its not stalking. its research.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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