Do you still have your period?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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