somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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