its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize