So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
