I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize