Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
