It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
