come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
