no, he came in my armpit
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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