And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize