i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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