Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
