that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
tell me about the fingering
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
