bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
