I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
