i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wish there were birth control emojis
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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