I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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