That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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