my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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