I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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