You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
