Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
