how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize