Im at strip club and am horny
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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