You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just had sex on a roof
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
