I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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