I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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