Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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