butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
