We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
