why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
