So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
