In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
