She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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