Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize