I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
