There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize