Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
